The Peachfuzz Chronicles

September 22, 2012

She’s Baaaaaaack!

Filed under: Uncategorized — by thepluckygastronome @ 11:47 am
Tags: , , ,

It’s been 11 months since Mother left. My last chemo infusion was November 2011 and I am still on the “right side of the sod!” I am just feeling strong enough to even think about blogging again. It looks like I beat this beast back. My lab results and CT scans all look good. My next oncology check up is in November. It’ll be a biggie.

Now I live with the body that’s left. Some days, I feel like I’m 100 years old. Last night, I took a ride with my wonderful husband for the 30-minute trip down to the Costco. When we arrived, he practically had to peel me out of the car. As I was chuffing and chugging through the parking lot, I thought that I must have looked to be a likely candidate for a walker, I was hobbling along that slowly!  But HEY! I’m walking! Woot! Woot!

Some days are better than others. I am seeing a rheumatologist for the joint pain, but it seems that after all the tests, the good news is that I am just out of shape. The bad news is that I’m out of shape.

I regret that I’ve been so quiet for all these months. Mother’s death took the stuffing right out of me. I had to crawl into a corner and lick my wounds–on so many levels. I still miss my parents greatly. There are still times where I think, “Oh! I need to remember to tell mom that!” but she is not at the other end of the phone any longer. My sister and I talk almost daily–which helps.

I got a spooky surprise last Halloween.  I was rushed to the ER as I suffered a Pulmonary Embolism–or as the docs like to say, “She threw a clot.”  Right through the ticker and into my right lung! This required another four-day hospital stay.  For the next six-and-a-half months, I self-administered blood thinner injections (trick or treat…) that cost us an arm and a leg PLUS a month’s mortgage payment.

On top of this, my peripheral neuropathy was getting worse. The numbness had extended from the feet to my hands and face. All this seemed to happen at once. We tried switching my chemo meds around. But things got worse.  At the end, I was a pretty beat-up, bald blob of bones and not much else. After my last scheduled chemo, it was time to discuss “maintenance chemo.”  After reading through the statisitical data and a few studies, I agreed with my doc that I wasn’t a good candidate. So we pulled out the port and now I am under “surveillance.” I visit every three months.

Even though it is fall weather outside, it feels like spring. As I get more strength, I feel like my life is a new beginning. I want to do everything but some days, I don’t have the strength. I over do, and get tired. But I’m happy just to be here. I like to tell people that I feel like I just got out of jail and want to do everything before the rug (may or may not) get pulled out from under me again. The kitchen and all it’s delicious experiments beckons. The genealogical research is out there waiting for me to conquer those unanswered questions that befuddled my mother and grandmother before her.

The most important lesson I’ve learned is to slow down and take care of myself. For God only knows how much time I have left. My job is to make the time that is left worth the living it of. I plan to still continue this blog as well as the Plucky Gastronome blog. The past several months has given me many things to write about. This will obviously be true for things to come in the months and years ahead. I am told that survivorship has its challenges. Well, we’ll just see about that!

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